Any moment in life can turn into a heated argument, but most shouldn’t. Conversely, you may not have the energy or confidence to stand up for yourself when it matters. Whether you fight too much or too little, you have a problem choosing your battles. Choose your battles and get what you want when it actually matters.
While it’s good to see things from other perspectives, it’s horrible to argue them all. You can forgo stress for yourself and others by approaching conflict both at the right times and more effectively. While I’ve learned a few things from my experience of changing my ways as a conflict-seeking individual, I’m no expert.
We all feel anger, but whether or not we act on it depends on a number of factors. Among them, confidence and forethought play a large role. Sometimes our anger gets the best of us, and we argue without thinking it through. Other times, we don’t feel confident enough to argue effectively when we should. To start solving this problem, you need to find where you draw the line between letting something go and engaging in conflict. Finding your “line” means considering how others will react to your choices and how you feel about those results. For example, if you avoid most battles and you’re perfectly happy with that, your line may be fine just where it is. If you fight too many battles and upset a lot of people in the process, however, you probably need a behavioral shift.
Finding your line of conflict makes the largest difference, and your style of conflict is a personal decision. However, a few commonalities exist in most approaches. You should ask yourself this question every time: “is the situation so distressing that it needs to be addressed?” Your answer will help you avoid undesirable reactions. Asking yourself a question, in general, works well because it makes you think. This is especially important when you’re feeling emotional. If your emotions get in the way of logic, questions will help draw you back to reality. However, your emotions aren’t the only part of the equation. You ought to consider your relationship with the other party as well. When you think about your approach and consider the other party, you’ll have a much easier time deciding whether to fight or whether to just let something go.
You shouldn’t fight any battle if you can’t do so constructively. If your goal is to hurt or just express your anger, you’re fighting for the wrong reasons. Every single argument you have ought to aim to improve an undesirable situation. Choosing a battle is to remain “solution-focused”. In other words, “don’t pick a battle or ignore a situation until you know what outcome you’d like.” Keeping your eyes on the solution can help you avoid becoming embroiled in an emotional conflict. When focusing on solutions, a person should consider whether or not their desired solution is fair to all parties involved and the points where they are willing to make concessions. Focusing on an ideal outcome for all parties turns a battle into more of a productive debate, and that’s exactly the goal you ought to have for each and every argument.
Most skills require practice before you’re any good. The importance of practice in choosing your battles cannot be understated: it is exceptionally important. changing your behavior and understanding the behavior of others requires effort. You’ll need to try and fail a lot, then learn from your experiences. Track your behavior and practice. When things start getting better and you feel less stress, you’ll know you’re on the right path.
JOANNE
mydailyboost 